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Thanks, and now here's the final season of the brilliant Teachers.
________________________________________________________________________
The lives and lifestyles of a group of young comprehensive school teachers in Bristol forms the backdrop for the fourth & final season of this original drama series.
Episode One.
On the eve of the new term Bob, Penny and Lindsay visit the graves of Kurt and Brian, killed in a road accident with Matt. Summerdown has now merged with another school. Clare is still the head but has become more of a hard liner, especially towards Bob, who now sports a toupee and boasts about his Thai mail order bride. Bob resents the new head of English, Ewan, who is young, handsome and very pleasant and tries every trick he can to get him sacked but when everything goes wrong Ewan graciously saves Bob from getting the chop. Lindsay and Penny find the aloof Damien and his hypochondriac satellite Dan unfriendly but eventually Lindsay and Dan bond in the toilet over ailments and Bob and Damien are united in their cynicism, everybody ending up in the pub just like old times.
Episode Two.
Bob's bid for his Thai bride is rejected due to his age so Lindsay helps him find another one, forty-eight year old Ping. Ben has to usher a quartet of elderly care home residents around the school for Age Awareness Day and finds that he envies their life-style but feels betrayed when having tried to befriend one of them, finds he has been given a false phone number. After Ewan gives her a lift home Penny makes a humiliating pass at him, which he rejects and soon is common knowledge amongst the staff. In the library she meets a handsome and charming young librarian, Anthony Millington, and they go on a date. In fact he is not a teacher as she supposed but an eighteen year old pupil who is refused service in the pub.
Episode Three.
Clare instigates Gay and Lesbian Awareness Week and brings in counsellor Sarah, whom Ben fancies but she turns out to be gay and tells Lindsay she would make an excellent Lesbian. Clare's interest in Lesbian sex causes Sarah to wonder if she may also be gay and Liz worries that Kayla is gay as she has never had a boyfriend though Kayla ends up surprising her mother. Ewan panics when pupil John Simon develops a crush on him and nobody is any help at advising him how to cope with it. Eventually John, dressed as Freddie Mercury, turns on Ewan for his lack of interest and humiliates him in the playground.
Episode Four.
To mark National Obesity Week Clare 'volunteers' a reluctant Lindsay to lose weight but Lindsay is not keen. Having been publicly humiliated when she gets stuck in a serving hatch she agrees to a sponsored slim, along with Liz and Bob - though the effect of his vasectomy rules him out. However since Lindsay was never weighed at the start of the week a little chicanery is needed by the others to help her, though it does leave her having to pay the bar tab. Anthony dumps Penny as he feels his school work is more important.
Episode Five.
As Clare announces Religious Tolerance Week when each teacher must choose a religion to champion Ben worries about his inner peace and, in order to find it, tries the Internet, reincarnation and Lindsay punching him before he is satisfied. Bob meets Ping, his mail order bride, and brings her to school, where the others find her underwhelming. Bob is annoyed that she refuses him sex and asks Ewan to give her a pep talk but, as she speaks no English, Ewan's sign language is misunderstood and he ends up - almost - being caught with his pants down by Bob, due to Ping's enthusiastic response. Penny gives Anthony a hard time for dumping her.
Episode Six.
Penny's real surname is discovered to be Eichmann and, when she has trouble filling in an objective form for Racial Awareness Week and students complain about her treating blacks and whites differently she is considered a racist. The more she tries to atone for it the worse she makes it until finally she believes that she is in a minority group as a blonde. Bob boasts that he and Ping have a great sex life but eventually he has to confess to Lindsay that it is non-existent, though he is cheered when she suggests that Ping is saving herself for the wedding night.
Episode Seven.
With Bob briefly off school over a misunderstanding about him kerb crawling, supply teacher Anna steps into the breach. Despite his previous protestations that he has no need for a girlfriend Damien agrees to a date with her but, following an incident in which he saw a pupil get intimate with an icing bag, he finds he is impotent and has to put off Anna's invitation to go home. By the time his potency has returned he is back to feeling that once more he has no need for a girlfriend. Liz, however, gets Anthony to confess to his fling with Penny, which the teacher has been denying.
Episode Eight.
Bob is planning a stag weekend in Dublin but nobody wants to attend. Ben's excuse is that ten years earlier a ouija board told him he would die on the upcoming Friday. Nobody is sympathetic. When a disabled boy is apparently miraculously cured Ben believes that there is an after-life but, unsure as to what religion claims it, goes through a variety of faiths. Come Friday he is still alive though Damien comes a cropper and only Mr Chong joins Bob for the stag weekend. Liz continues to hold the affair with Anthony over Penny.
Episode Nine.
In the wake of an end of term Christmas party that has left the staff hung over, an Ofsted inspection is not exactly welcome. Usually Clare flirts with the inspector but this year he has been replaced by a severe Scots lady. All goes well until she discovers that all the disruptive pupils have been locked in a Portakabin, after which it is down to Ewan to charm her into giving the school a good report and saving everybody's jobs. Bob, however, about to marry Ping in a lavish ceremony in the playground, has little reason to thank Ewan after learning of his afternoon delight with Ping and gets drunk, having to be talked down from the roof by Lindsay. The wedding goes ahead with Ben as a reluctant best man but, as Bob prepares for the honeymoon, Ping dumps him, explaining she only married him to get a visa. There is better news for Penny since, now Anthony has left school, they can be a legitimate couple.
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