Star Wars The Phantom Menace (fan-edit)

Star wars the Phantom menace. OMG. What the hell did I go see? This flick showed me that movies are going downhill. No more original ideas are coming out. What was once a catalyst for escapism, is now a catalyst for consumerism.

Star Wars film lovers where given a crash course on how to aim a franchise directly at the padawans. And only padawans. Most exclusively.

The millions of millions of self proclaimed (directly or indirectly) Star Wars Jedi's where left wandering amongst the many versions of better Star Wars movies. Left to ponder what exactly they where doing.

Mutiny became the ally of the believer as hate filled the minds of the common Star Wars fan.

But, hope is on the horizon. Technology has given us different versions of the Lucas kid movie known as "the Phantom Menace". A movie that has proven to be a menace to logic. (slams fist on table)

Here is one such re-edit.

This edit follows the hero's journey throughout the film. No longer changing to introduce annoying cgi/characters at every turn. Technology is great but not when it is taken too far. Like way to far. Like he took it to 11.

The plot advances at a more palatable pace.

-Removed "ascension gun" scene or rather "batman gun" scene.

-Removed jar jar giving up in battle

-Removed Anikan line "we gotta go help them"

-Rearranged end scenes. Now the battle on the planet and the one in space are done before guygone jim gets a saber in the chest.

-Rearranged guygone jims death scene.

-Fixed the conversation between Quygone Jim and the arms dealer. Now they make a 50 50 deal and that's it.

-Removed any footage that does not concern the hero's. So anything you see should have at least one of the hero's in the scene. If there is not, then it is important for the plot to move along so the scene was included.

-Most scenes with the "shatnerarians" (from plinket's review lol) are gone from the beginning. We now follow the Jedi's instead of the meandering boring setup to scene where the Jedi's find the robot army. This means that the viewer misses out on the shatnerarians and their talk with the obvious senator. Although it seems like a unnecessary cut, the viewer does spent way more time with the good guys. Even though the story is not that great, we can connect more because of our screen time with them. The plot reveals itself right when we fist see Queen amaboring so all of those scenes where not needed. The movie basically is told from the Jedi's view instead of well, Lucas's view. lolz.

-The famous robot duo are now on the sidelines. We to see them, but they do not have much screen time. This is for the older adult audience who trusted Lucas to give them an adult movie. This means the R2D2 "thank you" scene is gone as well as the "fix the ship scene". Don't worry, it is still there in the official version.

-Removed any banter between the bad robots. I realize this movie is directed at kids but come on man, that makes the part of me brain (the one that does the maths and the social and the other things smart like) slightly squirm from the pressure of stupidity.

-Did the obvious things, removed jar jar as much as possible, no more "through the planet core" thing, no 2 headed announcer, stupid lines from anikan, stupid jar jar in battle, and no "metachlorines" or whatever Lucas killed the force with. (my self proclaimed jedi brain cried a sad death when I was presented with that scene. I could feel the ambience in the theatre deflate at an alarming rate. Many a Jedi follower where left looking for answers that was for sure)

-Removed and slightly altered some scenes so as we don't have to sit through some cringe inducing lines and or acting.

-Removed the jar jar being banished thing. Now he just is following the hero's because one of them saved his life. Less of the watching a good actor act while he is looking at nothing really. Damn you Technology!

-Left the title crawl alone. Although it is boring, and kinda stupid it did tell exactly why the 2 Jedi's were there.

-Anikan is taken to the blockade by auto pilot. Even though all of his kids lines are gone making him seem older, the fact of the matter is that he is very young. By taking over the ship during the flight and then blowing up the ship, is something that would happen to a kid who well, is loaded with the force. Like really loaded. Like lucky prophecy force is all around this kid. As soon as Anikin starts flying, he is barking orders at the robot and taking control. He puts up the shields himself and then starts wasting the bad guys. lol.

-Removed the happy ending thing. The only ones happy at this ending were the kids and Lucas.


If you like this re-edit, can I humbly as you to seed? It would help out the fan-edit community!

720p ltrbx
1hr 41 min