Killer Crocodile.mkv

Giving new meaning to the old saying 'so bad it's good' Killer Crocodile is easily one of the 'best' of the 'worst' films I've come across in quite some time. I'm a sucker for 'when animals attack' type films to begin with, always have been. I don't know what it is, I can't explain it, but if it's an animal, and it's attacking, rest assured I'll be glued to the Sci-Fi channel. Now, when you throw into the mix either an 'oversized' or 'mutant' tupe animal - well then my friend it's simply a case of more the better. The beauty of Killer Crocodile lies in the fact that I still have absolutely no idea what the hell was going on, yet I was inexplicably glued to the screen for 90 or so minutes and enjoyed just about every friggin' flickering frame (notice I said 'just about'). No apologies offered here...absolutely no apologies.

A blatant Jaws rip-off, yet not, Killer Crocodile isn't quite sure WHAT it wants to be. The story centers on a group of environmentalists tracking down illegally dumped toxic waste somewhere in South America? You see, I'm not completely sure, it may have been brought up, but I must've just missed it. And I'll be dammed if I'm going to go and do any research on the subject. Moving along, names aren't important either, so let's just scratch that as well. So this group of yuppie environmentalists head out on a boat ride, a quest for proof of illegal chemical dumping. Mind you, I saw the barrels labeled 'toxic waste' right from the start, although it took them slightly longer to come to a cnclusion. They camp out for the night and in the morning one of their own turns missing (surprise!). So they head back to the village for 'help.'

Once at the village, they discover no police force on hand, just a local judge. And wouldn't you just guess it? He's been allowing a local businessman to dump toxic waste barrels in the river...shock! With little help, our yuppie environmentalists head back to the river on their own in search of their friend, only to find her corpse floating along its merry way, da dum! It turns out that there's an oversized Crocodile (something we already knew) floating around and chomping down on just about anything that gets in its way (and even some things that don't get in its way). There are repeated trips to and from the river as one by one villagers and environmentalists are naturally made croc food. If I need to tell you what the last shot of the film is, then you obviously have NOT seen enough of these flicks in your lifetime. But let's just say that it's exactly what you'd expect, no surprises here.

Everything about Killer Crocodile screams poor quality. From the uninspired performances, script o' cliché's right down to the poor excuse of a soundtrack (provided by the almost always dependable Riz Ortolani). It's really the most blatant 're-working' of the Jaws tune that I have EVER heard, someone should write a letter. With all of these negatives, one would have to wonder why I described the film as a prime example of 'the best of the worst' but that's an easy one. Despite all of its flaws, Killer Crocodile is a really fun bad movie (PLUS it's got an oversized crocodile!), so in turn all of these negatives wind up 'almost' as positives, makes perfect sense to me!

The main attraction here (ze croc) makes plenty of appearances throughout (thank god), and despite the fact that he swims faster than he should be able to and jumps a hell of a lot higher than one would expect (do crocs even jump?), he is still after all, the Killer Crocodile so I guess he does what he wants. He chomps and drags his victims with a feverish pace. Naturally, I couldn't end this review without mentioning one of the best scenes in the film, in which no less than two villagers are torn apart while trying to save a little girl hanging from a split bridge. The environmentalists come to the rescue, but still don't get any respect! Imagine that!

The existence of the Killer Crocodile is never fully explained, and once again, if I missed it I apologize, but I'm sure you understand. Is he a product of the toxic waste dumping? Is he lonely looking for friends? Was he flushed down the toilet? Do they even have any toilets there? I dunno, and to be honest with you, I really don't care. Killer Croc looked cool, and I enjoyed watching him swim around nabbing villagers and environmentalists one by one, couldn't get enough.