HOWARD STERN 1-19-2009 Mastertape Theatre 4-01-2004 56kbps

HOWARD STERN 1-19-2009 Mastertape Theatre 4-01-2004 56kbps / 22050


This was the 2nd MTT show for today. My recording of the earlier 3/4/98 show was cut off as it was the West Coast feed, so I'm waiting to find the rest before posting that.


# Morning Fun Without The Filth! Cross And Lopez Replace Howard Stern. 04/01/04. 6:00am
The first thing heard on the show today was WXRK Radio's General Manager Tom Chiusano reading a message that went something like this...
''Ladies and Gentlemen I think you all know me, this is Tom Chiusano and I unfortunately have to read you the following announcement. Due to the recent actions by the United States Government and the Federal Communications Commission, the Howard Stern Show is no longer on our air. Neither Infinity Broadcasting or our parent company is willing to continue to put our licenses or our stock holders trust in jeopardy. Viacom can no longer bear the weight of the Government pressure and it's affects on our corporation. Please continue to listen to the station and other affiliates as we appreciate your loyalty and understand your needs. While we're sorry to end the Howard Stern Show, we promise quality programming in the future. Thank you.''

Hosting the new morning show, ''Cross and Lopez,'' was Rob Cross (WXRK's Program Director) and a woman calling herself Lopez (one of WXRK's DJs - Danni). They were playing lame songs from Beyonce and John Mayer. When they did speak they talked about doing the usual dull morning show stuff like waking up you boss for you and other lame stuff like that. They also said they'd be having ''fun without the filth'' which is what we would be looking forward to if Howard actually was off the air.

Christina Aguilera's ''Beautiful'' was also thrown in before Cross and Lopez came back to do some more lame stuff with their ''fun without the filth'' morning show. They took some phone calls from a phony listener who requested some Britney Spears. They were even giving out an 800 number so people could call in.

Cross said that this all came down late last night but they kind of knew it was coming. Cross and Lopez reviewed last night's ''American Idol'' and gave out the 800 number so people could call in to help build the morning show. A little later Cross explained what happened with Howard the night before and how they were going to go to a very positive show in the mornings from now on. He replayed the Tom Chiusano message again so everyone could hear it. They took more phone calls from some people who wanted Howard back. Cross told one woman that he wanted his dead cat back but it just wasn't going to happen.

Cross and Lopez spent more time talking about some lame stuff like movies that were going to be opening up this weekend. Then they played some Eminem and other Top 40 songs. They kept up the act for the first hour of the show and did some lame bits ripping off some of the games Howard played on his show. They did a Gossip Game rip-off and had people call in to try and win. They also had more lame phony listeners calling in to request some more Britney Spears.

# ''Morning Fun Without The Filth'' Continues. 04/01/04. 7:00am
Cross and Lopez let some real callers through and they were pissed. They said that it was a bunch of BS and they wanted their Howard Stern back. They played some lame bits and more lame music as the morning went on. The big question was whether or not Howard was going to do anything this morning. Cross replayed Tom's message a couple of times throughout the morning. They were talking about Jay Leno and how funny he is, unlike Howard who bashes Leno these days. They played some of Leno's lame monolog from last night as a goof.

Cross and Lopez were talking about Leno and his lame show and then the fart sound effects started. Tom's laugh, Jeff the Drunk's ''You Skanky Ho' and others were played. Then Howard broke in and ended the April Fool's Joke.

# Howard Ends The April Fool's Joke. 04/01/04. 7:20am
Howard said there were many of you dumb enough to fall for that stupid joke. Howard thanked Rob Cross and Danni for their work as Cross and Lopez. Danni was turning on all of the guys while she was doing her thing. Howard spent a minute with Cross thanking him for what he did. A lot of people realized what was going on but the affiliates were freaking out.

Gary came in and said that the affiliates weren't told what was going on but some of them knew that it was a joke. Up in Hartford they told people that it was April Fool's day so they kind of spoiled it. Howard said he was actually nervous through the whole thing. Howard said that this was a good dry run for Tom who may have to do this in a few weeks when he actually is taken off the air.

Cross and Lopez actually had some fans already. The phone calls they were taking from people who wanted shout outs were actually real callers! Tom came in and Howard said it was his idea to have Rob Cross do the show. Gary said that Danni was a little too happy while she was doing the show. Howard spent a minute talking to Danni about what she does on the show. She swings around to different shifts on the station.

Howard took some phone calls from people like Captain Janks. Janks called Howard a dick for doing this. He ended up calling CBS and asked them if it was a joke or not. He said that they told him that it was a joke. Howard went on to tell Janks that Senator Brownback wrote another letter to Mel about why he still has Howard on the air and a few other things have come out that make his future look bleak. Howard said that Oprah is now being investigated but he still thinks that they'll never fine her. There are some other stories that Howard has up on his web site HowardStern.com.

Double A called in and complained about the joke that Howard had just played on everyone. Tim Sabian from WYSP called in to talk about how he fell for the joke. Howard said they got a lot of media attention this morning. Even though it was a joke today, he still thinks that he will be forced off the air sometime in the near future. He's good at predicting his future and he knows that the show will eventually taken off the air. This was just an example of what it might be like. Tim said that it will be hard to take when Howard actually is taken off the air.

Howard thought that the ''Lopez'' name was a great one for a morning show DJ. Howard told Rob that he should have been Roberto or something like that. A listener called in and said that this was a wake up call for him. He said it's time to start calling our senators about this nonsense. Another caller said that today he will be registering to vote. Another phone caller said he started to cry when he heard that Cross and Lopez stuff.

Howard said that no one was really sticking up for him when they were taking phone calls earlier. Some other callers were telling Howard how fooled they were by the phony morning show. Howard said that it was eerie to him as he was hearing the fake show. Some of the guys who called in said that they enjoyed hearing Lopez on the show. They liked her voice.

Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that there has to be a way to let the fans know what's actually going on. She said that she feels like she's going to die when stuff like this happens. Some other callers got through and complained about the joke.

One caller said he was so pissed when he heard that Howard was off the air that he almost killed a gas attendant. Howard replayed the announcement that Tom Chiusano made earlier in the morning. Cross told Howard he might want to keep that announcement handy for when it really does happen.

Howard said they got a lot of mail this morning about what people thought was going on. People were writing in complaining about the show being taken off the air. Someone said they thought they woke up in Utah with Donnie and Marie on the radio this morning. There were some real angry e-mails and faxes coming in while the phony show was on. Artie said there was a letter from journalist Marshall Fine who wanted to be at the press conference if there was one.

A listener who thought that Howard was still off the air called in and complained about our freedom of speech being taken away. Howard also took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said the joke wasn't funny. One guy said that the local WB network was reporting that Howard was off the air. Howard thought that was pretty funny. Another caller said that the interns were telling him that the show really was off the air.

Howard and the guys talked about how lame the Jay Leno bit was that they played earlier. Howard said that Jay really sucks and Rob thought that the whole monolog was really bad. One phone caller said that he tuned into Imus this morning after thinking Howard was off the air. Donald Trump was on the air with Imus so the caller said that he really is a traitor. Howard said Donald is kind of a traitor.

A phone caller said that the local WB news station did a retraction on the story that Howard was off the air and they were laughing about the joke. Howard continued to take calls from people who wanted to talk about what had gone on earlier. A woman called in and said that she figured out that it was a joke and it was the best thing Howard has done in 14 years.

Howard said that it was his idea to call the morning show ''Fun without the Filth.'' Howard also said that Dead Air Dave was running the board when they were doing the show. He said that the guy really shouldn't be in charge of the delay button, he's talented and he should have his own radio shift. He said that it could be Dead Air Dave and Lopez.

Howard told a story about Artie saying something about not playing any of the ''bad'' Britney Spears songs when they were discussing what songs to play.

A guy from StopFCC.com called in and said he had more signatures on his petition this morning than any other morning. A few more callers told Howard how fooled they were. One woman said this was like Orson Wells' ''War of the Worlds'' for her. She thought it was true. Howard said that it was a joke today but it might not be a joke in the near future when he really is taken off the air. He told people to check out his web site to see some of the stuff that's going on behind the scenes.

After Howard read the letter that Senator Brownback sent to his boss, he sat down and had to write a letter back to the guy himself. He said he has done a lot of research on the guy and went off on him for some of the stuff he's done in his job as well. He brought up some of the stuff that he wanted to send to Brownback but he doesn't want to screw things up for his company.

Robin said she was talking to Lorraine Bracco last night at a Knicks event. She said that she was telling Bracco that they will be off the air but Bracco didn't want to believe that. She was really upset just thinking that they could be taken off the air. Robin told Howard not to expect any support from Spike Lee. He was at the event she was at but didn't even look at her. Robin told Howard that there were a few players there last night who told her that they're fans of the show. After talking about that for a couple of minutes, Howard had to take a commercial break.

# Various Phone Calls, Cross And Lopez Discussions And More. 04/01/04. 8:15am
Howard came back from break and talked about the April Fool's joke they had just done earlier. He said it was kind of cool and Cross and Lopez were good at being morning DJs together. He played some of the bumpers that were created for the phony morning show. He thought about hiring some news broadcaster to do the show but Tom convinced him that Rob Cross was a great DJ. He eventually figured out that it was Tom being cheap and using someone from the station so he wouldn't have to pay someone else.

Howard said it was weird that the morning show had fans already after being on the air for just a few minutes. He said it was also weird to stand there watching them doing the show. A listener called in and said that he was so pissed this morning that he ended up rear ending another car.

Howard told Robin they had to bump The Rock until tomorrow. He said that he heard that The Rock has covered up his whole body with tattoos for some reason. He doesn't know why he did it because he's got this movie career going now. Richie from E! came in and told Howard that they are real tattoos. Robin couldn't believe that he would do something like that.

A listener called in and told Howard how great the Courtney Love E! show was last night. Another guy told him that he was crying when he heard that Howard wasn't on anymore this morning. Howard thought about carrying on the joke for the whole morning.

Captain Janks called in again and said that FOX news was running a crawl about how they reported that Howard was taken off the air and that they were wrong. Another caller told Howard that the tattoos that The Rock has are just 30 day tattoos and they'll wear off.

Howard is going to see a preview of ''Hellboy'' today but Robin may not be able to make it. That led to Howard talking about how Vinnie Favale and Robin will talk during movies if they don't like it for some reason. He said that Vinnie is no longer welcome at those movies. He said Ralph shouldn't be allowed to go either. Howard told Robin he's bringing a stun gun to the movie today in case anyone gets out of line.

Howard took more phone calls about the April Fools joke. One guy said he thought Tom Chiusano was actually brilliant for hiring two lame DJs to take over for Howard. Robin said that it was horrible when they played the Clay Aiken song they played during that Cross and Lopez show. She said that's what America is becoming and it's horrible.

One listener said that he canceled his trip to Las Vegas when he heard that Howard was off the air this morning. Howard told the guy they're still going and they'll be there May 11th to the 13th.

Howard has been invited to a poker game tournament on Friday. He told Artie about the game and said that he couldn't get him in because he was specially invited to the thing. Artie said he couldn't make it anyway because he has a comedy gig that night.

Howard read that the FCC is now doing an investigation of Oprah's show thanks to all of his listeners filing complaints about what she discussed on her show. He knows that they will not fine her because of who she is. He said that Michael Powell said yesterday that they are not on a ''witch hunt'' for Howard Stern. If they fine Oprah, Howard said he'll believe him. If they don't fine her, he won't believe it.

Howard had another article about how some local DJs on WPLJ in New York are worried that they'll be fined by the FCC for whispering on the air. There are other people who are afraid that saying ''The Mets suck'' on air might be indecent. Howard talked about how his show was censored when he asked Tim Robbins about using his Oscar awards for sexual stuff. He said that Tom cut that out and he said he wants to quit because of that.

Howard now wants people to start taping soap oprahs and start filing complaints about the stuff that's going on because kids can watch stuff like that when they're home from school. He wants everyone to get fined and get everyone in on the party.

Tom came in and apologized to Howard for censoring that part of the Tim Robbins interview yesterday. He said it was a bad edit. Howard told Tom that he wants out of this already. He wants out because of what they're doing to his show. He said he feels beaten down and the only thing left to do is to point out what's going on in this country now.

Howard talked about Stuttering John being stolen away from his show to the Jay Leno show and how they've already pushed John to the back of the room. John is doing a phony announcer voice that just isn't working. He goofed on Jay for a couple of minutes and complained about how he steals stuff from his show and makes it lame.

Dr. Sal Calabro called in and told Howard that his staff was worried about their jobs this morning when they heard that Howard was off the air. Dr. Calabro said a few nice words to Howard and then got off the line.

Howard played a phone call that their old intern Steve Grillo left on Mike Gange's voice mail th