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DescriptionDirty Secret: A Daughter Comes Clean About Her Mother's Compulsive Hoarding by Jessie Sholl (Author)  {BinanGotit} Format: epub / mobi / pdf Product Details Paperback: 318 pages Publisher: Gallery Books (December 28th 2010) Language: English ISBN-10: 1439192529 ISBN-13: 978-1439192528 A fascinating look at compulsive hoarding by a woman whose mother suffers from the disease. To be the child of a compulsive hoarder is to live in a permanent state of unease. Because if my mother is one of those crazy junk-house people, then what does that make me? When her divorced mother was diagnosed with cancer, New York City writer Jessie Sholl returned to her hometown of Minneapolis to help her prepare for her upcoming surgery and get her affairs in order. While a daunting task for any adult dealing with an aging parent, it’s compounded for Sholl by one lifelong, complex, and confounding truth: her mother is a compulsive hoarder. Dirty Secret is a daughter’s powerful memoir of confronting her mother’s disorder, of searching for the normalcy that was never hers as a child, and, finally, cleaning out the clutter of her mother’s home in the hopes of salvaging the true heart of their relationship—before it’s too late. Growing up, young Jessie knew her mother wasn’t like other mothers: chronically disorganized, she might forgo picking Jessie up from kindergarten to spend the afternoon thrift store shopping. Now, tracing the downward spiral in her mother’s hoarding behavior to the death of a long-time boyfriend, she bravely wades into a pathological sea of stuff: broken appliances, moldy cowboy boots, twenty identical pairs of graying bargain-bin sneakers, abandoned arts and crafts, newspapers, magazines, a dresser drawer crammed with discarded eyeglasses, shovelfuls of junk mail . . . the things that become a hoarder’s “treasures.” With candor, wit, and not a drop of sentimentality, Jessie Sholl explores the many personal and psychological ramifications of hoarding while telling an unforgettable mother-daughter tale. Reviews "Sholl explores the psychological reasons why being merely a pack rat can erupt into full-blown hoarding. By the end you're sympathetic to both mother and daughter and understand how a parent's obsession can become a child's." - People magazine, 3.5 stars (out of 4) "With her bold prose and ceaseless courage, Jessie Sholl tells a mother-daughter story like no other. Get ready for a visceral read: just a few pages into DIRTY SECRET, you'll be scratching your ankles, dabbling your eyes, and - when you're finished - frantically "Mining a story of damage inflicted and damage sustained, Jessie Sholl conjures a narrative of surprising interconnectedness, even uplift. Wry and illuminating, Dirty Secret is an empathic and insightful memoir." - Dave King, author of THE HA-HA "When a grown child tells the story of a troubled parent, three things are needed: exacting detail, unflinching honesty, and - most of all - unconditional love. Jessie Sholl's "Dirty Secret" beautifully contains them all." - Dan Koeppel, author of "To See Every Bird on Earth: A Father, A Son, and A Lifelong Obsession" "Suspenseful and novel-like, Dirty Secret is a wonderful, respectful introduction to the world of a hoarder and the tribulations suffered by both the individual who hoards and their family members." - Fugen Neziroglu, Ph.D. author of Overcoming Compulsive Hoarding: Why You Save and How You Can Stop "From a literal mess of a childhood, Sholl has emerged to tell a compelling and sparkling-clean story that will captivate anyone who has ever tried to let go of the past." - Elisabeth Eaves, author of "Bare" and Wanderlust" Biography I'm the author of Dirty Secret: A Daughter Comes Clean About Her Mother's Compulsive Hoarding (Simon & Schuster/Gallery Books, Dec. 2010). I'm also the coeditor of the literary nonfiction anthology Travelers' Tales Prague and the Czech Republic. I live in New York City with my super-powered miniature pinscher/Chihuahua mix, Abraham Lincoln. Please feel free to visit me at www.jessie-sholl.com. Top Customer Reviews 5.0 out of 5 stars A Brave Look By A Far And Away on December 31, 2010 I feel like everyone knows someone who has a problem with hoarding but it's hard not to look at hoarders and think, 'wtf, just clean it up!' Jessie Sholl bravely throws herself (and her family) into her haunting and amusing memoir. The best thing about this book is that it's 100% readable, a page-turner really, and it's also extremely informative about hoarding and having someone with a mental disorder entwined in your life. Sholl combines her own stories with researched facts about hoarders that fit snugly in the story. She delves into the complex cycle of hope, frustration and defeat intermixed with humor and honesty will ring true to anyone who has loved a person with a mental illness. If you've dealt (or are dealing) with mental illness/hoarding you'll read this book and think, 'I'm not alone, this is my story too.' If you haven't had a personal experience with a hoarder this will give you insight into the behavior and open your eyes to a new world. There are many facets of the book beyond the hoarding - daughter-as-mother relationship, parents growing older, etc. Sholl explores these areas in a subtle, genuine way. Bravo! 5.0 out of 5 stars Sholl shows it all, with love By Janice Erlbaum on January 1, 2011 My mother is a schizophrenic hoarder. This sentence is hard to type, but reading Jessie Sholl's candid and caring memoir about her somewhat similarly affected mother has made it a lot easier, because I'm reminded that I'm not alone, and that in the absurdity and sadness of the situation there is still room for compassion. Jessie describes the emotional landscape around her mother with clarity and precision; I found myself nodding along at thing I recognized from my own life. With this book Jessie has found a way to help dispel the shame and secrecy around this painful condition, not just for herself but for others. A very inspiring memoir from a very good person. 5.0 out of 5 stars Painfully true By P. Lozar on March 7, 2011 My mother was a hoarder, so the subject of this book was inherently interesting to me, and I read it as soon as I could get hold of it. I found myself saying "YES!!" time and again because so much of the mother's behavior was familiar: valuation of "stuff" above everything else (including her family), resistance to getting rid of anything, denial that there's a problem, tendency to blame someone or something else for the clutter, inability to organize, insistence on the unique value of every item, etc. The author points out that not all hoarders are alike: e.g., her mother was a compulsive spender, while mine was a compulsive saver. But, while severe hoarding is often triggered by a trauma, the behavior can be remarkably similar despite different circumstances: my mother was a child of the Depression, while the author's mother grew up in the sixties, but they still had kitchens full of out-of-date products they couldn't bear to throw away. Other authors have described the syndrome in more clinical terms, but this book gives the sense of what it's like to LIVE with a hoarding parent. What I found most compelling about the book, however, is how well the author described the children-of-hoarders mind-set: She felt responsible for taking care of her mother, and obligated to keep trying to put her mother's house and finances in order, even when it was clear to everyone around her that her efforts were futile. It's almost impossible to convey how life-consuming this sense of responsibility for one's parent can be; but, based on my own experience, I feel that the author totally nailed it.  Sharing Widget |